Trostlosigkeit
by MosesRecinly42
Summary: Roy tries to comfort Ed after a failed attempt to restore Al, which leave the young alchemist alone and injured. Angsty ROYED ONE SHOT PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!


Title: Trostlosigkeit

Rating: PG 13

Genre Angst-hints of romance

Pairing-Roy/Ed

Warning: Char Death, slight slash

Apology: Sorry for all the angsty one-shot recently…I promise ill update Zunachst soon!

Dedication: Dedicated to my Mum…cus I don't think I've ever dedicated anything to her before.

* * *

Roy looked out the window of the train, wishing there were some way to make it go faster. He heard news that the Elrics had found a Stone, and he was eager—no, anxious, to see what had happened with it. He didn't know what he would find once he got to the location the boys had last called from, but he had a terrible feeling it was not at all what they had hoped for.

He swung open the door to the small alchemic laboratory, praying to see two happy and fully human Elric brothers, or at the least one hot-tempered human Elric and a sweet-natured Armour one. But that was by no means what he found.

The floor was a mess of blood, debris and smudged chalk that had once been a transmutation circle. A non-human... _entity_, a miserable mockery of humanity, lay in a pile in the middle of the lab. Roy's stomach heaved.

"Alphonse…" he thought to himself, in silent mourning. A snap of his fingers and the 'life' of the pathetic creature was mercifully extinguished.

He turned his attention now to the young alchemist who lay unconscious on the ground, covered in blood. Roy wasn't sure whether the blood was from Edward himself or from the failed transmutation of his younger brother.

He gathered the young teen into his arms; it was surprising how light he was. He reached for a nearby telephone and called for an ambulance. He cradled Ed in his arms until it arrived and was seen safely off.

He then went about the gruesome task of cleaning the lab. He didn't want Edward to come back to this place and see what had happened. The boy had seen enough horrors in his life.

Out of respect for Alphonse he buried the remains. He couldn't bring himself to place a name on the gravestone but couldn't leave the grave unmarked, so he scorched the seal of Flamel into the stone.

* * *

When he arrived at the hospital Ed was still unconscious. Roy sat by his bedside for two days until he awoke.

"Aru…" Edward muttered as the world slowly swam into view. "Aru…?"

Roy embraced him, "I'm sorry Edward…I'm so sorry…"

"Colonel?" he said, dazed. "What happened…where's Alphonse?"

Without even thinking about it, Roy kissed Ed's forehead. He didn't protest so Roy embraced him again.

"The Stone…didn't work…the transmutation failed…I'm sorry…"

Tears streamed from Ed's amber eyes. He clutched Roy's shirt and sobbed. He felt as though his heart had been ripped out of his chest. He trembled and shuddered.

"What happened," he managed to say, "…I mean, did the transmutation happen the way Mum's had?" He didn't want to think he had put his little brother in such agony.

"Yes," Roy said simply.

"He was hurting..." Ed choked out.

"I…I ended his pain…" Roy said softly, gesturing with his glove.

"Aru…"

"Edward…that wasn't really Alphonse, you should know that."

"How do you know that for sure…how do you know I didn't put my little brother through that…" Ed cried.

"You can't know that…but he's not in pain anymore. Wherever he is now…he's happy," Roy said, surprising himself with how religious he was sounding.

"I don't believe in heaven, Colonel…and even if Heaven does exist, God's never cut us any breaks before…why would He change His mind now?"

"Edward, do you honestly believe that Alphonse no longer exists? That the soul you risked you life to save is simply gone? And do you really think, that if he is out that that Alphonse wouldn't get into Heaven?"

Edward began to sigh, but his tear-strangled lungs turned in into a shudder. "I don't know what I believe. All I know is that Aru isn't here with me."

"Edward…" Roy said in a soft voice.

Ed looked up at him with eyes full of despair. It made Roy shudder to think that those were the same eyes that could glare with so much fire when he was angry and that could shine so radiantly when he was happy.

"Colonel…Thank you for everything…" he said in a sad voice.

Roy kissed him gently again, this time on the lips. Ed leaned into his touch before pulling away.

"Roy," he said, using the man's name instead of his title, "If…If I were to kill myself…what would you do?"

Roy sighed. "I don't know, Edward, and I don't want to have to find out. I'm not sure I'd be able to handle it."

"I don't know what else I can do…I don't know how to live without him." A new wave of sobs rose from his strained throat. "Aru was my whole life, my whole world... he was everything to me. I lived for him. What am I suppose to live for if I don't even have hope of ever seeing his smile again…of ever holding him again?"

Roy placed another kiss on his lips. This one Ed did not pull away from. After a few moments, Roy broke the kiss and looked into Edward's eyes.

"You can live for me."

* * *

Yeah…im unoriginal…sorry! IM BEGGING FOR CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM ON THIS! I think it sucks more than a hooker vacuuming the bottom of Kirby's air-conditioner…Please please please please review! 


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